How to catch curve balls

Human adaptation.  Bones that grow and heal themselves, perhaps morphing into a different shape or outgrowth, but none-the-less repairing themselves.  That is what I keep telling myself that my toe must be doing.  It's up to something down there.  Probably no good, but I like to think that I can be my own doctor.  I'm not eager to pay a visit to the ER for my pinky toe.  So I'm deciding to wait it out.  And the song runs through my head singing, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone..."
It's amazing how far you can get in a conversation with someone by mentioning that you have broken something.  Even if it is just a pinky toe.  Yesterday a few members of the group that I was hanging out with misheard and thought that I had broken the big toe.  The misinterpreted information was corrected near the end of our gathering, but I think it made the conversational part of the interaction much more engaging.  Think of it...the big toe!  And there I was describing how I had done my own buddy taping and everything, and was not going to get it checked out!  What an exciting life.
So I return to the topic that has captured my thoughts for the past few days.  I'm recalling the frame of mind that I was in yesterday because once again, I have changed today and it's hard to remember  where I left off.  It's like trying to find your place again in a book that you didn't use a bookmark to mark your place.  Plus the weather is entirely different today and that changes everything.
So...let's check in with Christina this morning.  I'm feeling hopeful...slightly anxious...fighting the drop effect that the coffee I decided to drink is providing me...I'm working to hold onto inspiration...  This is because I crave the "flow" feeling that only occurs when I am engaged in a task that takes all my attention for that moment in time.  When "flow" occurs, I am not focused on those "feelings" that take up  brain space and leave little room for productivity.  At least that is how I observe the impact of my feelings to be from an objective standpoint.  And it is here in this moment as I write that statement that I realize that I am judging the presence of those feelings.  It's funny.  I hear people refer to themselves as rational...logical thinkers...in control of their feelings...but when it really comes down to it, am I not still basing the decisions that I make on how I feel or don't want to feel?  When I hear a person say that they don't let their emotions get in the way during times of stress or sadness, are they not still basing their decision on the presence of emotion?  They change their behavior with the intent of avoiding the experience that they associate with the emotion.  Hmmm...  A lot of the time when a person is considered "emotional," automatic judgements come to mind about the person's strength of mind or stability...  I might insert here another way of looking at the idea of "letting emotions take over."  It could be considered instead as an act of bravery.  An act of heroism that confronts the feelings that a particular situation evokes and allows them room to exist.  Rather than negating the presence of emotion, and in a sense running away while standing still, the so-called feeing person demonstrates their skills in the midst of the battlefield.  In the presence of loneliness, anger, sadness, and despair, they wrestle with the giants and find clever ways to insert happiness into their existence.  I'm just saying...