Patterns. I am rather attached to them. More than I realize I think. Various sock patterns...daily patterns and rituals, i.e. the daily morning brew...patterns of behaviors. The last one is the one that I found myself analyzing during a conversation with a friend over sushi. I mean, why wouldn't you have that type of a conversation while utilizing chopsticks?
So, yeah, these patterns. I'm a goal setter. I can't get away from it. I just am. I make them up in my head all the time. I'm a couple months into 2013 and as I stop and think about what has already occurred this year, I remember the "pursuits" or "hobbies" that I set out to pursue with reckless abandon. First I was struck with knitting frenzy. It was all I could think about and do in my spare time. And I conquered. I finished the project that I had my heart set on completing. Next up were the books that I wanted to finish reading. They had been on my list for several months, and I focused intently on reading them through. Although I'll admit that I realized midway through "The Happiness Project," that I wasn't the type of reader cut out for that author's sort of writing, and I abandoned ship quickly. Life is too short to be stressed out while reading for FUN. Type A personality + Search for Happiness = Fun-Sucker. (Sorry to anyone out there who finds her work inspirational...)
Once I had navigated through that period of my leisure life, I decided to commit time to practice Yoga. Which brings me to today. I am still pursuing the practice. And while I am committed to doing Yoga as much as I can, I have noticed that I have stuck with this new interest more than the others. Looking to integrate the practice more into my life. I'll come back around to the knitting, and who knows, maybe I'll be just as intense. I'll complete that crowl if it kills me. Perhaps it's the chase that keeps me engaged. The pursuit of mastery. I want to nail that inverted pose. Grrrrr. Two years ago I wanted to eat "raw" an entire year. Slightly intense. Perhaps not as easily accomplished as attending Yoga at least twice a week.
The point is this. I want to engage in a lifestyle and the pursuits that follow, that are sustainable. Sometimes there is a time in life for compulsive duct tape wallet making, or even doing a "cleanse" for a short period of time, however the abrupt stop and go of it, the guilt that sometimes comes after the burnout, are things that I can do without. I don't expect to do without those things completely. I also am trying to be realistic. That's just life. We get out of balance. We binge. We procrastinate.
In the end, let's try to cut ourselves some slack and take it slow. I think I'll do child's pose while I'm at it.